San Diego

So the last few days has not been good for me. I feel as though life crashes down on me all at once, I begin to feel distant from my friends, family, and acquaintances. Im normally not one to be down on life but I'm in a rut. I've had very strange dreams, that I can't explain to add on to it. Someone from the past has come back to town and when they did everything went downhill. I feel as though some friendships are being forgotten and some are being ditched. Pet peeve: when you make plans and then people bail. I've realized that some of my good friends are no longer that great of friends, especially my guy friends, the ones that were there for me throughout the 8 years I've known them. I guess thats life though and people come and go as they say. I also haven't been getting along with my family as much either, I need my space and unfortunately living at home again doesn't allow me to have as much. I feel suffocated and trapped in my room, with nothing to do but think about my stresses and worries. Another thing that has bothered me is for the first time in my life, I have been more unhappy dancing. It sucks that certain people can ruin that for you, Im sick of getting treated badly and like a 7 year old. It really sucks and I can only keep how I truly feel inside for just a little longer.....I need my BFF' s badly...which is a good segue into my topic. SAN DIEGO!

I will be in San Diego Wednesday to spend a week with one of my best friends Breanna. Im so excited to be with her on her bday as well as to just spend some quality time with her. For a whole week I wont have stresses or worries, all I'll be thinking about is fun in the sun!!!! haha This vaca couldn't have come at a better time and I hope when I get back everything gets better. I bought a new book today called "A Piece of Cake" Im pretty excited to read about this womans life. Hopefully that keeps me occupied while Im flying, because I have a great fear of flying...ahhhhhhhhhh!!!

Well sorry to be a Debbie Downer I just needed to write down my frustrations. Pity me ahah jkjk

Later alligators!

St. Pattys Day

Happy Birthday Brady! I can't believe my nephew is 2 today, man they grow up fast, I wish my fam didn't live on the other side of the country though! Ive been missing them a lot lately, talking to my sis, niece, and nephew today on the phone makes me miss them even more. Auntie Ashwee just melts my heart! tear tear.................................

Anyways, tomorrow is St. Pattys day and I have the day off! I don't know what it is but I enjoy green beer and all of the festivities that go along with this holiday, I may or may not be Irish, my g-pa was adopted so no one knows his heritage, either way I will be dressed in green and will be down in Denver around 8:30 a.m. My friend Banks and I are gonna try to get in to Kegs and Eggs at Lodos, I doubt we get in so we'll probably just walk around then start day drinking when the rest of the bars open! Day drinking is amazing, have fun all day and then you go to bed at a decent time, which is helpful since I have work on Wednesday. Not to mention its going to be 70 degrees tomorrow, WTF that is not suppose to happen in CO in March (our snowiest month) I want snow damnit! ahahha

Well on another note, I feel as though I should throw some random facts about me on here that you may find interesting!

1. i had a precancerous spot on my nose a couple months ago that had to be removed along with a spot on my head. no more tanning beds!

2. i go out of my way to crunch leaves, i love the sound

3. plain chocolate makes me feel sick

4. if i could be a disney princess it would be ariel. "dude shes hot" ahah american pie

5. when i was little i used to sing in the mirror with a brush to christina aguilera songs to try to be like her

6. cuddling is amazing, i love it!

7. im really double jointed 

8. im left handed 

9. if i could have one super power it would be to fly

10. im scared that the one thing i want most out of life will never happen, that is to have a family

11. i rarely cry about my own life but if i watch something on tv or in a movie about love, pain, suffering, etc. i always cry

12. i feel bad for people that dont laugh everyday, it is the best thing ever

13. speaking of laughs, im known for my cackle, its contagious so watch out ahahah

14. i love meeting people, they always end up teaching me something new about life

15. i have glow in the dark stars on my ceiling, i feel relaxed when i see them in my dark room

16. i want an american bulldog ASAP

17. i eat like a 5 year old child.

18. i love new music

19. i dont let many people get close to my heart, there is about a 10 ft. gaurd so if i let you in feel special haha 

20. i was a tomboy until about 8th grade

21. 3, 5, 13, and 21 are my lucky numbers

22. i have a tattoo in honor of my fam, i got it after i got in a really bad car accident the words "its a miracle you just walked out of that ok" really made me think differently about life

23. i cant wait to get more tats...2 more are coming soon

24. i absolutely can't stand close minded judgmental people, i seriously have no room in my life for them, if you can't except people for who they are i dont want you in my life

25. i get mad at people for being bad tippers

26. i have natural curly hair, i am also a compulsive hair dyer, i just get bored with my hair really easily

27. i played soccer for about 14 years and decided not to play in college and take scholarships...i kinda wish i would have for the experience

28. im ready to move to CA and take on the world

29. i dislike many of my freckles

30. im obsessed with dinosaurs and documentaries about the ocean

I LOVE TO DANCE

WOW what a long week! This week I did things I wouldn't have ever imagined doing, although a couple things failed it was still a fun experience.

Tuesday: Kari and I decided to go audition for ANTM because next season is 5'7 and under, we thought it would be fun so we got in Karis car and giggled that we were actually doing this all the way down there. When we got to Vinyl (place where casting was) the line was blocks long, we waited in line for about 2 hours then we finally got inside. When we got inside it was not what we were thinking, the music was blaring the lights were dim and they were having drink specials....keep in mind this was suppose to be a casting call. It was so unprofessional and unorganized. When later found out they were taking 50 girls at a time we waited....and waited....and waited...it was 9 pm and they were only on number 150, the casting started at 5......by this time Kari and I were starving and we were no where close to getting called, our numbers being 451 and 452, so we said screw this and went to the Denver Diner had dinner, and then shared a chocolate sundae....mmmmmm

Thursday: Was SYTYCD auditions, I absolutely love this show and a majority of girls I know from dance were trying out so my friend Bree and I headed to Denver around 6:30 am. When we arrived the line was sooo long, luckily there were these nice gentlemen that let us cut in line so we were close to the front. As we waited outside in the cold, cameras kept passing by and both Bree and I did a little dance for them...we'll see if we make it on TV ahahah We got inside around 9:30am and then waited and waited until about 1. Our group of 50 was called into the next room. There they broke it down to groups of 10 based on what style of dance you did, Me, Bree, and another friend Caty-Sue all got into one group. We watched other groups go, the hip hoppers got a song by flo-rida, the contemporary dancers got a slow song suitable for contemporary, then it was our turn...the jazz group, the song came on and all of us looked at each other like how the hell are we suppose to free style to this, it had no back beat or steady beat, the song would have been suitable for a modern dancer I believe. Either way no one in our group could dance their style to that kind of song. And to top it off we had a specialty dancer in our group, and African dancer. By the time we auditioned the producer was only taking one person per group and of course they always go to the specialty dancers. But like he said "this is a reality show, not a dance show" so Bree, Caty-Sue and I all left the room and kind of giggled, like what the hell was that hahaha So we headed to the Rio and had lunch and a much needed marg. All in all it was a good experience and I can't wait for this season.

Friday and Saturday: Was the Denver Dance Festival for the professional dancers, so many good crews, we def. represented the dance scene in Denver, big ups to Mad Monkeys, Breakefx, and of course my dance team The Rockstarz. We killed it both nights, I also had a solo both nights, and I was pleased with how it went. I kept my asthma under control as well which is a plus! I am very sore and tired from it, but it was so much fun. I love dance it makes me so happy, and its always good to see my dance friends. I also got news that a talent agency in denver is interested in me!!! Horrray!!!!!!

Today: Was the end of the DDF, but today was just studios, the studio I teach at performed and they represented, a job well done, I was very proud of them. All the other studios were terrrific. I had dance chills all weekend! I love the feeling!

Im still on cloud nine, so much talent this weekend, and I can honestly say I was so nervous before the show but as soon as I hit the stage, I suddenly felt calm and relaxed, the stage is where I love to be!

Oh one last thing....a friend of mine started a clothing company called Burban Apparel and they want me to be the face of their line. Im pumped about this! Check out their site @ www.myspace.com/burbanapparel ,get the gear!

Here is a photo Ms. Kari took for the site and w

hat not, that should all be updated soon!

Oh Life

So I haven't blogged in a while...I've been slaving away at work, and haven't felt the urge to write lately. So here is an update on my current life situations.

-Today is a sad day for many of my f

riends, one of their good friends passed away today after getting hit by a train. It makes me so sad knowing they are sad, I didn't know him personally but I indeed did cry. I know how it feels to lose a friend. My thoughts are with them always!

-On another note, I am getting a gym membership tomorrow! Yay!!!! No more being lazy, because I really am becoming a lazy person when Im not in dance...I find it odd that once I stop drinking I found to be lazy...ahahaha back to bein

g a lush I guess :)

-Another event that has been going on in life is hanging out with my love Kari AKA Knight Hawk, I seriously don't know what I would do wit

hout her. I've been feeling lonely lately so she lets me have sleep overs with her! ahaha She is seriously the kindest soul I have ever met in my life. We are also obsessed with photo sessions, so we went out last week and took some photos

 of eachother. Here are some I took of her and pics she took of me.........

I decided I love taking pictures:

And I love when I get my picture taken!